Emotional Pornography

Came across a fascinating discussion over at the withoutwax blog by Pete Wilson discussing Emotional Pornography. To be fair – Pete was discussing the original article “The Dangers of Emotional Pornography” by Cole NeSmith – both articles have generated a lot of comments.

Cole states:

what about the unhealthy emotional and relational expectations portrayed in so much of our media? Is there really much of a difference in the hyperbolized sexual imagery of typical pornography and the hyperbolized momentary emotional high felt in a romance film or romantic comedy that sends us looking for a “love” that doesn’t exist?

Cole talks about he felt uneasy watching an episode of Glee that sparked all of this. I remember felling similar when watching ER (it caused me to stop watching it if I am honest).

Does the media generate in us a unhealthy view of what romance and love should look like?

The answer has to be an obvious “yes, of course it does“.

Somehow though – I feel that I am still able to judge between the media and real life. I must also say that in dealing with people the are having some kind of relationship issue (or when we do marriage prep) – not everyone can judge this difference and unhealthy expectations arise.

Has the church made this worse?

But I would like to take this one stage further and be a little controversial if I may: I just wonder if the church has made this worse or men, a lot worse by emasculating Jesus and using words like “lover” and “husband” to describe him?

We have presented (rightly or wrongly) a romantic notion of Christ coming in and sweeping you off your feet, and especially when life is at its lowest. This can be dangerous because wives can compare their husbands with Christ, the lover of their soul, and be sorely disappointed!

I remember reading Why Men Hate Going to Church. In there he relates a story about a man who called his pastor (Ed Cole) and said, “Pastor, my wife is having an affair with another man. His name is Jesus.”

So, as the church, are we compounding the effect and setting ourselves up for a big fall?

I still have a lot of questions over all of this, and I find the whole thing fascinating.

What about you? What are your thoughts?